Before Fibromyalgia...
I worked all day and partied all night.
I walked everywhere miles and miles.
I loved Karaoke at the pub.
I home schooled my children.
I cooked.
I ran a house.
I had long soaks in a bubble bath.
I was invited to join MENSA.
I got every job I ever applied for.
I did all the painting in my homes.
I played with my children.
I read books.
I watched films.
I had long conversations.
I ran up the stairs two at a time.
I went shopping.
I went on holiday.
I looked forward to the weekends.
I remembered people's names and Birthdays.
I was a barmaid.
I was a receptionist.
I was a go-kart supervisor at Butlins.
I sold advertising space for newspapers.
I was a Wife.
I had a life!!!
Very moving! This explains what we go through when fibro hits, so well and it makes me sad.
ReplyDeleteIt's like we hit a brick wall and life as we know it ends! Thanks so much for being so patient with me. Am still up to my ears in paperwork but trying to do other things too so I don't go mad :0) xxx
DeleteThat whole 'before fibro' retrospective can be so jarring, so painful. Thank you for honestly sharing this, it's not easy to go back over the person you were and the life you had, seeing how different things are with your 'new normal'. xx
ReplyDeleteThe thing is there is so much more that I just can’t remember. It’s hard for sure. Thanks so much for taking the time to read and comment :0) xx
DeleteThanks for sharing. I thought it was just me thinking how different my life was before fibromyalgia
DeleteThanks so much for taking the time to read and leave a comment I truly appreciate it :0) xx
DeleteI've had pain since I was 10 and fell with my bike.
ReplyDeleteI recognize some things you say, but I don't have the feeling I lost so much, because I never had it.
Maybe that's good for me?
ON the other hand: yeah, I also lost a lot of myself. Cannot imagine how I lived when the kids were little. The things I did! And kept doing!
Sometimes is difficult, to get a reminder like that.
I felt I had to do this post for those who look at us and make assumptions about who we are. As you say which is worse having and losing or never having to begin with? Thanks so much for taking the time to read and comment :0) xx
DeleteWe all have a set of mental filters that we have gathered over the years that are more unique to each us than our finger prints. People can only relate to what their filters allow them to understand, we all delete, distort and generalize information that we can't relate too and tend to either internally judge (self talk) or externally judge others and the way they live their lives based on our understanding of life.
DeleteWhat i have come to realise is that most people with Chronic Illness don't really understand why they suffer from what they have or how they can help themselves, and often judge themselves as being No good, Broken, Hopeless or Worthless, that is why being judged by others (which is not right and not helpful by the way) is so hurtful, it solidifies what they are saying to themselves!
A good way to educate people is to wear the I hat, never the you hat, a statement in reply to assumptions could be something like "Name, I feel really hurt when i hear others say i that am not trying the hardest i can with the illness i have, i'm finding things really hard at the moment and trying the best i can with the health i currently have"
Very hard for anyone to argue with this, this includes judgments of yourself too.
Hard to respond like this when people are calling you retards or benefit scrounging scum, or a liar, that it’s all in your head and you should just go away and die! Thanks so much for reading and commenting I appreciate it :0) xx
DeleteThis illness takes so much from us, but if I look hard enough I can see where it's given me things, too. Happy holidays to you!
ReplyDeleteOh I wish I could see that. Thanks so much for reading and taking the time to comment I truly appreciate it :0) xx
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